May we meet again
by Fanficfanxx
Summary: This is Lexa's point of view from the betrayal and beyond. Lexa is totally crushed by the decision she had to make in order to save her people. As the commander she did the right thing. She would never change that. However Lexa is full of regret and is on the edge of losing it.


''May we meet again'' were the last words that Lexa said to the woman she had fallen in love with. She had no other choice, as the commander she had to put her people first. Love was weakness is what she kept telling to herself. Deep down she knew that wasn't true. The memories she had of her and Clarke were amazing. The kiss reminded her constantly how amazing the feeling was of being in love with someone. She did made the right decision. She knew she had to save her people. But she had so much regret about leaving Clarke there to die. Something in herself had been broken all over again. Just like when she found that Costia was killed by Queen Nia of the Ice Nation.

Lexa was interrupted when one of her guards walked into her tent.  
''Commander, The Skaikru seem to have made it out of Mount Weather.  
Lexa got back some hope that Clarke would still be alive ''and their leader?''  
''Clarke kom Skaikru is alive, she seems to be the cause of their victory.''  
''Thank you. You may leave.''

Lexa was really relieved to hear that Clarke made it out of Mount Weather. ''She's alive'' she thought in herself. Until she realised, what she had done to Clarke.  
Lexa knew that she spoke from her own experience when she said ''they do not know that your suffering will be worse. What you did tonight will haunt till the end of your days.''  
First Costia now Clarke. Lexa felt like both of them would never forgive her. She knew that she made the right decision and she would've done it again to save her people. But to be the right leader for her people she had to break her own heart.  
When she told Clarke ''May we meet again'' she really hoped that they would. At first she thought she had lost Clarke forever at the mountain. But now, she was relieved to know that she was still breathing even though Clarke would probably hate her forever.

Months past and Lexa her decision kept haunting her in her sleep. Every night she had the same nightmare. She was standing across Clarke and she saw the pinpoint of Clarkes heartbreaking. Then she saw Emerson kill Clarke right in front of her.  
''Clarke! No! Please'' Lexa broke down crying. Clarkes fell to the ground and Lexa rushed towards her and caught her. She saw the life drain out of the bright blue eyes. Tears streaming down her face ''Please Clarke. Not you too! I can't lose you.''  
But she was to late. Clarke was gone.  
Lexa woke up every night crying hysterically but without a sound because she couldn't look weak. She had to be the commander. A fierce leader. But somehow she lost Clarke all over again, night after night.

Lexa did her best trying to keep it together. She did her best and had to keep up her walls what succeeded pretty good until one day. The unexpected happened.  
Clarke appeared right in front of her. She was a prisoner and Lexa didn't even recognize her. Her eyes that were once so bright, now so cold and emotionless.  
It hurt Lexa a lot to see what happened to this once happy trustful girl. She knew she had broken Clarkes trust. When Clarke looked her right in the eyes. She could see the hate. This affected Lexa more than she would like to admit.  
''Leave us'' Lexa said.  
Everyone left except for Clarke and Lexa.  
''Clarke.''  
Clarke didn't say a word. She just stared emotionless at Lexa. Lexa approached Clarke and cut the rope that had held Clarke captive. Lexa put down her walls. She just looked into Clarkes eyes hoping there was a spark of the old her. But there wasn't.  
''I can see in your eyes that you hate me Clarke'' Here kill me, take your revenge.''  
Lexa dropped the knife on the ground and just looked at Clarke.  
Clarke didn't say a word and grabbed the knife. She pressed Lexa against the wall and held the knife against her throat.  
''You have no honor'' Clarke said full of hate.  
Lexa didn't say a word. She looked away because this hurt her too much.  
''Look me in the eyes!'' Clarke yelled pressing the knife harder against Lexas throat.  
Lexa broke down once again ''I never meant to turn you into this…'' she said crying.  
''I had no choice'' Clarke said.  
''I didn't have a choice either. I'm so sorry Clarke. I had to save my people.''  
''I know. That's why I'll spare your life. May we meet again.'' Clarke walked away never looking Lexa in the eye again.  
Lexa sat down on the ground, she was crying full of regret. ''I hope we will'' she said to herself. Lexa had made the right choice, but with this she had to life with the consequences the rest of her life. Just like Clarke had to. They were more alike than they had realised.


End file.
